Great news folks, I found a job! The hours suck, it doesnt really pay anything, but I only have to share an office with two others, and they use a liter box so I have my own bathroom. No need to put down toilet paper now, plus Im not embarrassed to walk in with some reading material, because I dont care what they think Im doing in there, they are cats. Thats right I have two cats and I am self-employed unemployed.
I never thought I would actually be working harder looking for work than I ever have actually working for actual money, but its true. The hunt isnt exactly going the way I like my hunts to go. I wake up, check out craigslist, take about an hour and apply to all the random "office assistant" jobs I can find, then I hit up the hospitality/restaurant section and map out my days plan of attack. Next, I hit the warshroom, then I strap on my boots, feed my co-workers and make sure they have some water for the day, and then hit the trails.
Whats even more depressing about my situation is that as I walk into the Peter's Pubs and Larry's Lounges' I am not the only one there to find a job. I have to sift my way through the crowd of desperate bretheren to fill out an application that will most likely become fire kindling, because the first pair of boobs that came in got the job (cant say I blame them, hopefully they were nice and belonged to a female). So after I exit, head hanging in defeat, I return to my map and head towards the next Peter's or Larry's. I dont like to veer too far off course, but in between my planned destinations I stop at whatever retail or mega store that catches my eye (thats right I recently entered Phase III - retail, never thought Id be back after my stint at Arnold's Mens Store). But if there is one thing Ive learned at my new job it is, never say never.
At about dinner time, Im usually near or at the edge of my 5 mile radius boundary and decide to head back to the office before it gets too dark. But the day doesnt end there, oh no, no, no, as Ive been gone craigslist has been updated throughout the day, so once Im home and after a quick game of string with my associates I get a headstart on tomorrows game plan. No 9-5 here folks, being self-employed unemployed is a 24 hour job, no room for slackers, after all thats what got me into this mess, and until Im employed employed theres no hanging up these boots.
P.S.
Since when does Target have a screening process that rivals the CIA. I spent an hour answering their 20 page questionnaire "When people insult you, you get angry... 1) strongly agree, 2)agree....", seriously Target?!?!? Cut to the chase, you really mean, when you are working as a cashier at Target and a customer calls you an idiot for double swiping their 80 gallon jug of Tide will you punch them in their face?
